The Author of Time & The Bible Marathon

Well, ‘long-time-no-blog’ I hear you say...

Where have I been?

For those of you who don’t live closely to me you may think I’ve been erased off the face of the Earth.  

You wouldn’t be far wrong...

Why?  First of all let’s talk about what it means to be an individual:  

Made in the image of God we are relational beings, creatures of thought, of passion, of expression.  Like our creator, we see the beauty in creation, and therefore cannot help but be creative ourselves.  My friends and I are potent examples of that (also known as the ‘artsy fartsy’ lot)!  The way we think, feel, relate, create, all of these are witnesses to the reality that we are individually crafted.  So my absence of blogging, absence of poetry, absence of cooking, of knitting, of crafting of songwriting...  I have lost myself.  All consumed by the confines of time and the demands of working to pay the bills, I have become the very thing I have resented; a mass produced robot recreated by the hands of culture.

But there is good news...

Okay so no-one wants to hear about what I’ve been doing with my life since last December when I posted about missional communities.  This isn’t a sob story about me.  But you may want to hear how we can reclaim identity in the crisis of modern day life.  I hope to teach you something from my experience...

If you follow me on Twitter, or Facebook, or Pinterest... or whatever latest social network is trending the net right now... you may have seen me mention The Bible Marathon.

In January as part of my ‘to do in 2013’ list, my God-Father challenged me to read the 66 books of the Bible in 66 days.  I laughed to myself.  He’s been doing the marathon for about 7 years now, starting every January with an intense reading of scripture from front to back.  But for someone with long holidays and flexible hours as a missionary, surely it’s too easy for him to complete it, even if he does now have 4 small children...  But me?  No way.  As you may know I have a full time job, a part time masters, a ministry leading a student group, a few mentees, ballet classes, rock climbing, a house to keep and relationships to maintain, all of which I owe my time.  The Bible Marathon for Annie Davies was simply impossible, right?

Wrong.

...‘What is impossible with man is possible with God’ (Luke 18:27)

This verse even out of context combats my pride and stubbornness and leaves me in awe of God’s ways...

When we make time for God in a busy life, everything slows down.

I didn't think I'd be able to read 66 books in 66 days simply because of lack of time...

...but I did!  I finished it!  And on time too! (if you know me you’ll know I’m not on time for ANYTHING).

 

Without jeopardising all the commitments I had made previously, I was diving into a new book each day, flowing through the chapters like a feather in a stream.  Okay, I’ll admit, there were times I felt like I was swimming through treacle... upstream... with my hands and feet tied together... but even the tedious books were enlightening and revealed so much about God that I had never even considered before!  Doing The Bible Marathon was helping me to put God at the center of every day.  I’d wake up in the morning and know that my day was going to revolve around God's word.  I was rarely able to sit down and read a book in one go, but I’d dig into it throughout the day, finding myself continually encouraged and continually filled with the Holy Spirit in a peaceful way.  Then at the end of each day I’d think back on what I'd read and pray into it before I slept, feeling as though I'd walked the journey of my day with the Lord at my side.

This incredible experience taught me a heck of a lot about God, about myself, about life, creation, salvation...  

But most of all, The Bible Marathon has taught me a lesson in ‘time’.  

God will always make room for himself to be present in my life, however busy.  If we only let him in, he will move through us and give us a fresh breath of his love when we need it (and surprisingly even when we don’t!).  He gives us rest and fills us up whilst still using us in our busyness to serve and to witness.  This brings peace to me.  Very rarely do I feel stressed or hurried, knowing that my creator is ever present and that time is sacred.  One thing just seems to flow into the next, and little pockets of time happen to appear just when I need them.  The Lord brings me work and rest in good measure, but only when I truly let him in, acknowledging his rule over my heart and his call over my life.

So when the Bible talks about keeping a Sabbath, what does that actually mean?

Is God telling us to have a day in the life of a couch potato just ‘vegging’ in front of the TV?  Or sleeping till 3 and not changing out of your pyjamas all day?  What did God do on the first Sabbath?*  God looked back at the week and he celebrated creation.  He assessed his work and saw that it was good.  In the same way, we should take time to ACTIVELY rest, to look back at the week of our life, to repent for the things we failed at and to rejoice in the ways God has blessed us.  By active resting I mean reading the bible, spending time in prayer, engaging in worship.  By having little pockets of ‘rest’, little pieces of ‘Sabbath’ throughout my days, my whole life became an act of worship and praise and my heart was seldom far from the Lord.

The things we choose to spend our time on are the materials with which we construct our identity.

So I repent of my self-centredness, for my darkened heart that made me lost, lost in my own identity trying to be someone by the things I create.  

Mark Driscoll said: “Creative self expression has become an idol.  Whether or not you love your work, the goal is not job satisfaction but faithful worship.”

When time is short you are forced to question where your hope is gone, why your joy has faded and what makes you an individual.  You can’t fill your life with all the things that you WANT to and then face the challenge of filling it with things that you NEED to.  Giving your time to the Lord, making him central to your life recreates you each day in his image.  Only then are your outpourings holy, only then does your life become a worship song and a testimony to the perfect creator.

Our true identity is not in creatively extracting ourselves, but in receiving Jesus.

I am still astounded that God made it possible for me learn such a crucial lesson by experiencing scripture in such a way as I did through The Bible Marathon, but how could I have ever doubted the author of time?

*whether this was literally one day or not is irrelevant, the meaning is more important than the science here.

'On with the Mish'

Have you ever thought to yourself 'how do I know what my calling is'?

I think that all the time...

I always wondered what it would look like to hear God's voice and follow his will.
Then he showed me that it happens every day on a small scale.  Because I'm always looking for something big and extravagant like a 10 year life plan laid out before me, I miss the small things that God does through my life every day.  And here is a little fragment of my calling this year:

If you have read my previous blog post 'In with the Bish', you will be familiar with the inspiration behind this next chapter of the story that I am about to share with you.  If you didn’t, in summary: I attended a conference with John Sentamu, the Archbishop of York, who spoke on the revival of a broken Generation Y.  I was truly moved by his stories and inspired by his wisdom, and returned with an eagerness to reach out to young adults as they walk through the difficulties of life.  Because Jesus first loved me, how could I then go on to love others?  And so my mission began...

In the weeks following the conference I thought hard, felt much, and met with various people to talk about what I’d brought home with me.  I got together with Joshua the student leader at my church St.Nic’s and we discussed the best ways to accommodate this care and support for young adults.

Then ‘Reel’ was born:  

a group based on film and friends with a few meals thrown in for good measure.  We found a way to bring community back into a generation dominated by virtual social worlds and distracting technology.  Sure enough students love watching movies and love free food and are enthused to hang out with one another to share these mutual loves. You may have heard the phrase ‘the Church is the only group that exists for its non-members’, and holding steadfast to that truth, we wanted to create a community that is open to everyone of the student age, from all subcultures and backgrounds.  

So what do we actually do? 

Reel works on a 3 week cycle to give a bit of variety to the group.  We started off with a giant pot of homemade tomato soup to feed over 30 university students crammed into my flat, initiating some ice-breaker games to help people get to know one another.  On the second week we gathered to watch a film, followed by a discussion about the themes of the movie and how we can relate it to our lives and culture.  For the third week we broke down into small groups of 6-8 to have a time of openness and vulnerability with one another.  During this time we share our difficulties and successes, our pains and joys, and offer guidance and support to build genuine friendships to encourage one another through the individual journeys we walk.  And then we loop and do the whole thing again... food, film, friends!

The idea is to rely on the students to volunteer their homes as a hosting venue, working together to cook for the group or provide snacks for movie night.  Giving them this opportunity has had a fantastic impact, and I have been delighted to see young people grow in responsibility and compassion for others.  Students have brought some fascinating topics to the table in our small-groups, ranging from ‘how do I know where my life is going?’ to ‘how do I help my friend with psychological illness?’ and ‘why is Bruce Willis like Jesus?’ (don’t ask).  There have been deep questions ignited, real pains revealed, and strong relationships planted.  Reel is working.

I have learnt that if you are inspired by something, you must not just let it fade.  Reel so far has been proof to me that great things can grow from tiny seeds.  And this is just the beginning...  

You may have heard the news about the rejection of women bishops that has been bombarding the news as of late, and the talk of the church that is all criticism of dysfunction.  But behind this curtain of dispute the real work is happening.  People are united in a shared sense of compassion for the lost, and real lives are being changed, I know, I see it every week!  It doesn’t matter what the ‘system’ is doing.  It matters what the people are doing.  It matters that people are following their calling.  And the mission continues...

The Fuel for 'Feminism' & Reclaiming the 'Feminine'

I’m Annie.  You probably know that.  So if you’ve met me, read my blog, followed me on twitter or simply heard of me, you probably also know me as a ‘Feminist’.  

“Hi, meet Annie, she’s a feminist”

“Oh so you’re Annie the feminist”

“You’re that feminist aren’t you, so why do you hate men then?”

As if it isn’t bad enough that feminists have been given the label of ‘man haters’ (see blog post on the F word), but my beliefs about gender equality have somehow managed to present themselves as my sole identity.  You may as well brand a big ‘F’ into my forehead!  

So for the sake of my own social retribution, let me explain why that ‘F’ should be replaced with a ‘C’.

Once upon a time there was a girl who was very angry and bitter, yet passionate about justice.  She dressed in dark clothing to match her dark soul and dark thoughts and she didn’t really like anyone.  She was sad and lonely and never really had much of an example of true ‘masculinity’ in the way that God intended it to be.  She saw violence, hatred, rage, malice and deception.  The definition of ‘man’ was: reckless predator with high alcohol content.  She felt the inflictions of this broken image and her heart gave birth to feminism, a screaming baby with high demands to be consoled.  She kicked and screamed and fought this ‘otherness’ of men that she just could not understand, as anger fuelled the journey in her search for peace between men and women.  Needless to say, anger does not breed justice.  No peace was found.

It wasn’t until the girl was touched by God, and for the first time in her life felt what is confined to the word ‘love’, that things began to change.  Her heart was transformed - a true miracle.  A perfect father affectionately placed his hand on the screaming rage and brought peace to an angry feminist.  All of a sudden, into her life came a figure of real ‘masculinity’, of love and comfort and adoration.  A protector had found her.  But she didn’t want to be protected, this was all new to her, she denied such love at first, and time was leant to her to grapple in search of understanding.  Darkness was all she’d ever known, so what was this light?  She tried to find ‘Mother God’, she found her, yet something was lacking.  Then God sent her an earthly father, a man persistent in love, a reflection of the heavenly parent who never gives up on his children.  She could not escape this physical presence and she softened, and as she learnt to receive love, she learnt also to give love in return.  The bitterness was made weak by the strength of deep compassion, and the feminist fell in love with Jesus the man and God the Father.

And they lived happily ever after...?  Well, almost.
The fuel behind my feminism has changed, but it is still there, just as it is there for God who hates violence and loves the unity of man and woman.  As we know, Jesus spent most of his life trying to liberate women.  My feminism is not something to be feared, or scoffed at, or joked about, because it’s probably not what you think it is.  So, to clear things up:

I am not a feminist because I hate men, but because I love them.

I am not a feminist because I love women more, but because I want men and women to love one another.

So I love men, does that make me a bad feminist?  Arguably I am ‘better at feminism’ now I’ve had a change of heart and the fuel is pure.  Through embracing an image of truer masculinity, I have also come to see the ‘feminine’ that once was lacking from my feminism.  Blessed also with an earthly godmother as of late, it has become all too evident that my desires have changed and my fears have been lifted.  Over time the dark clothes disappeared, I stopped hiding behind my grim image and bitter grudges against the hurt I’d suffered.  An exchange was made as the frustration of being weak and vulnerable evaporated, and was replaced by a new celebration of my God-given feminine beauty and a real sense of joy and peace that I am a woman.  So what if I’d like to be a wife and a mother!  Does that make me any less of a person?  You’d think so according to my own determined political passions, but being a feminist is NOT about becoming as ‘masculine’ as possible and denying all those wonderful things that women are so dearly blessed with.  I am a feminist whose heart has grown to love her femininity, to embrace it even and enjoy it for the blessing that it is.  I am a feminist who loves men and women for all their differences and unique characteristics that are equally beautiful reflections of a divine God.

If I were branded, brand me with a ‘C’.  I belong to Christ, and my love for him comes first, as he first loved me.  The consequence of this is an outpouring of that love, so through me flows a passion for the lost and broken.  A consequence of this is my feminism.  For God so loved the world, man and woman, that he made us all in his beautiful image - God so loved the world, man and woman, that he gave his only son to set us free of conflict and hatred.  And there you have it.

'In with the Bish'

Last month I was invited to a conference by the Archbishop of York, John Sentamu, not a usual venture for an exams officer to undertake1.  The two day programme in the beautiful city of Durham was to equip those who are dedicated to the support and welfare of young people in the north of England (yes, apparently the north stretches as far south as Nottingham in this case - the Archbishop has a big vision and knows no limits!)

During my short yet impacting time at Cranmer Hall, I attended a heart wrenching seminar on Generation Y (those born between the 80’s and the beginning of the new millennia).  Ruth spoke on the challenges that face Gen Y and why the works of previous Gen X has left them with little to live for.  Our students have been tragically named; ‘the debt gen’,’ the tech gen’, ’the ‘me’ gen’...  Gone are the days when teenagers are handed over to the world and expected to become responsible in order to survive, as the phenomena of ‘Helicopter parents’ makes it possible for adolescents to ‘just have fun’ without needing to grow up.  Through social media we have instant communication, virtual friendships, and a wider yet shallow support network.  There is a constant fight to become a ‘somebody’ rather than a ‘nobody’ - counting quantity of friendships, in the desperation caused by lack of quality friendships.  All seems lost when depression, eating disorders and mental health problems are growing, and more teenagers are prescribed anti-depressant drugs than ever before.  With escalating divorce rates and family breakup, the promise of debt after education and the disappearance of real community, Gen Y has got it bad.  But there is hope.

John Sentamu with his inescapable humour and gripping stories wooed a dominantly western culture group with his words of compassion and his heart for the broken.  In the mist of postmodernity we keep getting lost in translation, but Sentamu like a breath of fresh air sweeps through and makes a clear path for the purpose of growth and journey.  Calling us to speak the language of our culture, he spoke of revival in our generation, of new beginnings and alternative ways of leading our youth.  He encourages us to use a language that translates, to speak through with words of hope, a new alternative: living freely, engaging deeply, with burdens lifted and hope restored.

The Church (meaning ‘the people’ as a thriving living collective, rather than a decrepit old building) plays a huge part in this, and IS relevant today!  Contrary to popular belief, listening to the blare of an organ and sitting in a pew with your head hung solemnly is not fundamental to Christianity. The church of the past may have adopted such a style, but form can change whilst content stays the same.  What is really important to the Christian faith is that it offers a relationship like no other, and the way we actively engage in that relationship on a daily basis needs to work.  Although some congregations are stuck in the past, most have begun to speak the language of today, translating what has always been truth into something that is accessible, enjoyable and impacting.  But is the rest of the world aware of this revival?

Preconceptions and stereotypes are stubborn barriers to erode, but this cannot be avoided simply because it’s a tough challenge. More than ever before, we need to offer our generation some good news for once.  There is a place that they can find acceptance, there is a place that they can find recognition, and there are communities in which they can form deep relationships with real love at the centre.  You may chuckle, but the Bish really is ‘down with the kids’ - and many more are united in this new vision to save a lost generation.



1. I have left the realm of studentdom and now have a job in the 'real world' - well... kinda... I'm studying for an MA in Systematic & Philosophical Theology in my 'spare' time.

'I never kiss and tell'

I’ve found myself walking past a group of ‘lads’, bantering about the girl they pulled last night and how good (or bad!) she was in bed.  On a disturbing number of occasions I’ve heard some vulgar mutterings and extremely embarrassing revelations of the all too common drunken fling.  I’ve heard girls being called some horrid names, and criticised for how much pubic hair they have, or for their choice of underwear, or for the manners in which they try to arouse a man.  I’ve felt a heartbreaking flinch at the echoing laughter at the misfortune of some poor girl oblivious to any of this mockery.  It could even be a girl I know.  It could be you.  Whatever happened to ‘I don’t kiss and tell’? 
Gone are the days where one would exercise modesty, honour, respect.  In the rise of ‘sexual liberation’ and the acceptance of sexual pluralism, we find a string of destruction trailing behind.  The most disturbing notion I have observed is that it seems to go unnoticed.  But does that make it acceptable?  So what if people are laughing behind your back - you can’t hear it so you don’t care.  Sadly that’s not the case.  We all want due respect.

When we look at the effects of gossip on a wider scale, we can see that metanarratives are being created, and standards set for women everywhere.  Women are being objectified as tools for sexual gratification, and as these tools we are expected to meet a certain criteria of how we should look, the clothes we should wear and the way we should act in a sexual setting.  With these ideals and ‘perfections’ comes a disqualification of the different, and if we do not fit these categories of the perfect sexual object we are excluded, laughed at, mocked amongst others.  The irony is found in that no-one meets these expectations.  Men expect a porn-star fantasy, when in reality, women have lumps and bumps and emotions and wants underneath that shiny shaven sexual robot.  Sorry guys, we are just as human as you are!

Now I have successfully created man-haters of you all, I would like to make the point that women too are guilty of this gossip.  Although it seems far more rare, I have heard the occasional comparison of body shape, penis size and duration of erectile function.  Girls, you wouldn’t appreciate guys talking about you in this way.  It’s not clever, and you don’t look good for mocking.  It’s actually rather embarrassing.  However, I have found that this is extremely rare, and although girls are more prone to gossip, it’s usually on the subject of the qualities the encountered man possesses.  “What does he study? Is he nice? Where did he take you? Are you going to see him again?”  Women on the whole seem to have more decency about them when it comes to mocking sexual exploits. (1) 

So, I’m not saying we should stop talking about sex.  I’m simply saying we need to start doing it respectfully, honouring the people that decide to make themselves so vulnerable to you that they allow you to share with them a sexual experience.  Whether you are in a long term relationship or participating in drunken flings (2), I urge you to have some respect for the other partner.  It’s not cool to banter about such a personal experience with ‘the lads’.  It’s not smart to mock someone because they don’t fit your ideals (3) (the truth is that you probably don’t fit theirs either).  But the fact is that you shared that experience together, you both opened up and gave yourselves physically to one another.  Surely this deserves some honour and respect. Bring it back: ‘I never kiss and tell’.

(1) I maintain however that I have no statistical proof for such a theory, I am merely referring to personal research and experience.

(2) I will refrain from going into my views on the proper use of sex on this occasion.

(3) Or arguably societies ideals.

Rae Morris

 

 

In the Red Room of Rescue Rooms, Rae drew in a small crowd of fans for a rather intimate performance.  The audience stood for two talented support acts, including London’s Marie Naffah, another young artist in the making.  Rae approached the stage and people gathered around to be as close with this lyrical goddess as they possibly could, some even sitting on the floor right in front of the stage and cramping along the side.  As eager listeners homed in, Rae sang a short set of stories with great sincerity.

‘It’s like having a birthday party’ she said ‘and even though it’s your party you’re afraid no one will turn up’.  Her timid stage presence and evident nervousness were placebos to her performance.  A skilled pianist combined her incredibly versatile vocals into beautiful compositions, each one increasingly emotionally impacting.  Listeners clung to every word and note, Rae holding the entire room in the hypnotic world of a young woman with a lot of passion.  This friendly Blackpool girl was eager to chat with locals after the show, ‘I want to know more about Robin Hood’ she said.  This artist has a lot to give and a long way to go.  You can download Rae’s ‘Blueprint Demos’ for free at www.raemorris.co.uk .

Joshua Buckland

Nottingham University’s very own Joshua Buckland has been hitting the music scene in the city with performances fit for the bigger stage.  The Mic has been keeping a close eye on this guy, checking out his most recent gig at The Maze.

Joshua with great panache managed to draw in a difficult crowd of varying age groups and musical tastes, and kept ears perked with storytelling lyrics and heart stopping acoustic riffs.  His set was well comprised with his own material; ‘Diamonds In Your Eyes’ and ‘Cold, Drunk and Alone’ with contagious rhythms leaving you trying to sing along to these unknown tracks.  His romantic cover of ‘The Book of Love’ originally by The Magnetic Fields captured the heart of every young girl and middle-aged man in the room.  Well, almost…

Joshua was also joined on stage by Mark Bridger on electric guitar and backing vocals for ‘Smoking Never Looked So Cool’, a song by the lads band Banshee Boardwalk.  Adding another level to Buckland’s fascinating material, this band are another name to look out for, leaving little room for criticism with their raw musical talent.  Joshua is fairly new to the live music scene, but promises to deliver with passion and determination.  Check out his upcoming ‘Bedroom EP’ on Soundcloud and support your local musicians.

I also had the privilege to accompany Joshua to his performance at the Crocus Café in Lenton (Nottingham), a fantastic venue for chilled-out open mic nights for which I was commissioned to take photographs. You can find them here.

Has marriage gone out of fashion?

This is a question that needs to be asked in today’s society.  We live in a time of drastic change: technological development, social networking, media growth and political mayhem.  I aim to discuss the concept of marriage in relation to such a changing culture with reference to the following issues: rebellion from tradition, dysfunctional families, pluralist lifestyles, stereotypical definitions, radical feminism, financial instability and the law.  

When I met James (22) and Imogen (21), one of the first things they told me about themselves was that they are married.  This was instantly followed by an awkward silence, my head working overtime trying to understand something so ridiculous.  ‘Smile and nod’ is my favourite way to deal with such baffling moments.  Should I congratulate them?  Pity them?  So young and yet so bound by this contract called ‘marriage’.  But was it really so ridiculous?

In today’s world, particularly in the west, marriage is seen as something that happens when you’re old and boring, that you put on like an old pair of comfy slippers when you’re done with fun in your life.  Marrying young is seen as a thing of the past, something our grandparents did because ‘that’s just how things were in those days’.  Well that is exactly how I saw it.  As time went on, I quickly became close with both James and Imogen, and can safely say that they are two of the most fun, lively and attractive people I have ever met.  And they really do live life to the full!

So why is it so rare to see such a phenomena?  Why do we see marriage in such a negative light?  Personally I put it down to experience of dysfunctional families and breakup.  With a distinct lack of role models, and divorce rates through the roof (although surprisingly lower than they have ever been, simply because less people are getting married in the first place), today’s generation are growing up with the misconception that marriage is a burden (or at least that is how I perceived it coming from said situation).  There are few examples of how marriage should be, a happy, enjoyable, secure and loving communion between two people; the epitome of love and joy.  Marriage, as I have learnt through my friends, is beautiful.  We should not be put off by our negative experiences, but learn from them ‘how not to do marriage’.

Sadly this beauty is lost on the pluralist society we live in.  Life is all about ‘convenience’, ‘freedom’ and ‘individualism’.  We do not have time for commitment and investment in relationships, we want to pick and mix the aspects of our postmodern lives to make up our super slick identity.  We want hot cars, top jobs and bachelor pads.  No-strings-attached sex is ‘playful’, ‘fun’ and ‘attractive’, the new alternative for ‘boring’ and ‘out-dated’ pacts of marriage.  On the cover is the glossy idea that commitment has gone out of fashion, but deep down, everyone has that secret longing for love and security.  Even the most hectic celebrities and influential politicians have someone to cuddle up to at night.

But who’s to say that it’s all about security?  Being married to someone is not just about having a safety net when you need someone to turn to or simply having someone there ‘at the end of the day’.  Marriage has been so heavily labelled with such characteristics, that although they are largely important factors of marriage, they draw attention away from other aspects of such a union: the things that marriage once required have now been placed as attainable only outside of marriage, by a generation seeking to rebel against anything that might be called ‘traditional’.  But marriage is what you make it, just because the label carries such negative connotations in wider society, does not mean you have to adopt them on a personal level.  Sharing life with someone means sharing everything; the life lessons, the glamorous social life, the achievements, adventures and heart-warming side-stitching memories.  Two fun-loving people joined together make for a whole lot of fun!

Another reason that marriage has gone out of fashion is the rise in radical feminism.  Some feminists (a small minority) go to the extreme in thinking that being married somehow makes you weak and passive.  Some believe that liberation is only gained through independence and separation from men.  I believe that equality is achieved through unity rather than segregation (but this is another topic in itself so I’ll not go into detail on this point).  Women are afraid to fall into categories of ‘wife’ or ‘mother’, two words again that have the connotations of boring, traditional unchallenging roles.  Most of the women that I know who are either married or in relationships are incredibly strong and active in their position.  Some are even active feminists.  Being married does not take this away.  If anything, being married is an incredible example of equality and unity between men and women, two people loving and caring for one another unconditionally and giving all they have to one another on an equal measure.  It’s not really about cooking and cleaning while the husband is out working as the breadwinner (unless adhering to gender stereotypes is your thing… then err… whatever works for you).

In such desperate financial times, most people discard the idea of marriage as an unnecessary celebration that costs the earth.  Some people spend thousands and thousands of pounds on a wedding, buying designer dressed, hiring extravagant venues, paying attention to the smallest details from gold leaf place cards to ribbon dressed furniture.  It’s become a competition, who can have the most ‘fairy tale’ wedding.  Couples everywhere are going to drastic lengths to impress, taking out loans, sacrificing other financial commitments, even entering competitions and taking part in reality T.V. shows such as ‘Don’t Tell The Bride’; anything to get their hands on the cash for the big day.  But marriage is not about the wedding.  Of course the ceremony in itself is important, but the 24hours of the first day of marriage is nothing compared with the years that you will spend together afterwards.  To put so much pressure and expectation into one day is pointless.  Keep it small, keep it personal, and get the whole family involved in a DIY wedding!  Bring it back to the bonding ritual it is meant to be, put love into it, not money.  A wedding does not have to be expensive to signify that two people want to declare purely and simply, that they love one another.

Some people are against the idea of marriage because they simply don’t see the point.  When I told friends that I was working on a blog on the topic of marriage, one of them linked me to a video of Doug Stanhope on marriage.  Although ridiculous in the name of comedy, he makes one good point: when we have something as personal and beautiful as a loving relationship, why should we want to get the government in on it?  Why should we have to declare by law that we love one another?  Surely it doesn’t matter.  Well I agree.  To me, whether a marriage is legal or not is not what makes it a marriage at all.  Personally, I believe that marriage is a promise before God that the two of you will love and cherish one another for the rest of your lives, the promise of union, two people joining as one.  You may not agree with my personal perception, but you don’t have to believe in God to make such promises to one another, (although I do believe that a marriage without God at the centre is a fragile one).  If you love someone, the greatest thing that you can give to them is your life, and promising them that you will share all you have with them forms an unbreakable bond.  Marrying the one you love says ‘I will share with you the highs of life, and when the lows bring us down, I will fight for our love’. 

I’m not saying that everyone should get married.  First of all, being single is not a negative thing, and life can be just as great if you have no-one to share it with, trust me, I’m not married!  Also we should not disregard the seriousness of marriage.  It is indeed a great level of commitment, a responsible decision that should be made for life.  Baring these two statements in mind, I am simply asking, that for those of us who have been blessed with a partner, or those of us that are single, do not see marriage in terms of the problems that I have explored in this post.  I ask that we rekindle the magnificence of such a beautiful part of life, that we see the fun and enjoyment that should be sought in marriage, and glorify it. 

Marriage brings not the death of life, but the everlasting life of love.

(I would like to thank James and Imogen Lowe for giving me permission to write about them in this post.  You are such an encouraging couple, and impact the lives of many, day after day. Evangelists for marriage!)

Renaissance: The New Feminism

How many times have you heard that there is no need for feminism in the modern world?  Women have the right to vote, financial independence, (almost) equal job opportunities and powerful positions in the government and other institutions.  The Suffragette’s have won all they fought for, and a line has been drawn through ‘feminism’ as a done and dealt-with cured ill of our society.  So is feminism dead?

I challenge this claim with the proposal that feminism is very much alive, and an essential tool for building a great society even today.  Yes, changes have been made.  Yes, goals have been met.  Yes, norms have been broken and women have been raised up to be more strong, powerful and influential than ever before in the history of gender politics.  But, when we look at the content and context of the most powerful women today, is this what those first feminists really wanted?

Sex: that three-letter word that has more power than the likes of words such as ‘peace’, ‘freedom’ and ‘equality’.  Sex: that weapon that women have used to manipulate the predatory male into a position of passivity and reliance.  Were women really onto something when they discovered the one thing that makes any man weak?  Or have they been lulled into a false sense of security, where once again, men have got women exactly where they want them; driving and fulfilling their sexual fantasies?

Let us take a quick look at a few powerful respected women.  Carla Bruni, Lady GaGa, Beyoncé, Lady Macbeth, Margaret Thatcher (wait, how did that one get in there…).  What do they all have in common?  Sexual provocation.  These wily women have all used their gorgeous bodies and alluring intimations to get them to the top.  But although they’re in the highest places, the men are still looking up their skirts.

Beyoncé is a fantastic example of feminism gone wrong.  Feel free to cringe as I quote some lyrics here: ‘if you like it then you should’a put a ring on it’, ‘my persuasion can build a nation, endless power, the love we can devour’ and the entire theme of the song ‘Independent Women’.  All of these signify all kinds of independence for women, emphasising the power and strength they supposedly manifest in todays society.  These lyrics alone represent the passion behind those very first feminists and the ideals they strived toward.  But the reality found in other lyrics such as ‘tonight I’ll be your naughty girl’, ‘I know you want my body’ and ‘ladies let him check up on it’ reveals that women are only powerful when using their sexuality as a manipulative tool. 

Feminist fought for freedom, and women having gained this freedom were so bewildered that they didn’t quite know what to do with it.  With this newfound freedom of expression, mixed together with male expectations, women easily fell into the bitter cocktail that we are still drowning in today.  We have a narrow choice: use sexual appeal to gain a cheated upper hand, or remain a weak, prudish, dehumanised existence.  Feminism needs to change this metanarrative, to reconstruct ideologies into realities.  Sexualising women is dehumanising.  Respecting women for their intellect, passion, and inner beauty, is the first step to bringing true equality.

The power of women needs to be reassessed. 

The reality of inequality needs to be reinterpreted. 

Feminism needs to be reborn. 

This is a call for Renaissance for today’s generation.

The Bookhouse Boys

- photograph by Annie Davies -

            Crammed onto the stage like a child’s nativity play, the eight-piece London band hit Nottingham’s Bodega Social Club with a performance that was far from amateur.  This group of suave, sophisticated and talented performers, in attire fit for the ‘smoky jazz club’ scene, played a set chosen by the dedicated fans.  Vocalist Paul Van Oestren asks the audience, “do you want it mellow or do you want it loud?” both of which The Bookhouse Boys master with great ease.

The beautiful Catherine Turner hypnotizes fans with her strangely seductive jerky movements, and the smooth vocals of an introverted Kate Bush, complementing the gritty tones of Van Oestren.  The upbeat favourite ‘I Can’t Help Myself’ pulsated through the venue and kept the audience dancing from start to finish.  Bassist William Emms played the haunting tones in ‘Guns Like Drums’, complemented by ghostly vocals, thrashing percussion and regal outbursts from Natty Defriend and Charlie Beringer on trumpets.  As individual members each from radically varying musical and influential backgrounds, the eight compile into a strange cocktail of musical genius, deserving of a fresher consumer than they have so far received. Check out their album ‘Tales To Be Told’, out earlier this year.

(as published in The Mic - Issue 30, 2011)

Did Darwin Kill God?

As part of my theology degree I opted for a module on The Philosophy of Religion last year, in which I touched on the thinking of the famous Charles Darwin. I was so fascinated that I enrolled for a module this year based entirely on the theory known as 'Darwinism'.

So what is the first thing that pops into your head when you hear the word 'Darwinism'? Probably the same things that popped into mine: Science? Evolution? Proof against the existence of God?

Darwin was the guy that threw the first punch that began the battle between science and religion.

Wasn't he?

I thought that too... until I discovered that Darwin himself was actually a Christian...

I've been reading on some fascinating stuff, but rather than writing out a complicated account of scientific theories and theologies, I thought it would be easier to post a video of the BBC documentary, 'Did Darwin Kill God?', by my very own lecturer Conor Cunningham. He presents a coexistence of science and religion, discusses the place for God in the theory of evolution, and how both Creationists and Ultra-Darwinists get it wrong.

If you're interested in digging deeper in the subject, I would also recommend Cunningham's book, a huge chunk of text to sink your teeth into but a fantastic exploration into the development of Darwinism.

Conor Cunningham - 'Darwin's Pious Idea: Why the Ultra-Darwinists and Creationists both get it wrong' - (William B Eerdmans Publishing Co, 2011)

The Media God

 

Take a look at this Diesel advertisement: ‘Sex sells* (but unfortunately we sell jeans)’.  This is just one example of how the media forces pornography into modern culture, in this case as a form of advertisement.  Last week, a friend informed me that as TV turns digital in August, extra channels will be added to the network, and this will include pornography channels.  An Internet craze that is also available on satellite television has now stuck its filthy mitts into the likes of national television.  This exposure is somewhat criminal, and the government should be utterly ashamed of allowing such exploitative material to saturate our culture.

Advertisement and pornography channels are not the only media genres with dangerous content.  In England, America, across Europe and even more dominantly so in Asian cultures such as China and Japan, material promoting the exploitation of women is everywhere.  Strip bars and ‘gentleman’s’ entertainment clubs, raunchy music videos, newspaper photographs, magazines with pornographic images slapped on the front for any passer-by to stumble upon, it's all backwards.  For a country that's so 'politically correct' in its conservatism, this is beyond a joke.

‘If you don’t want to get involved with porn then don’t, it’s up to the individual.’

Well actually, it’s not.  Pornography affects everyone.  It is no longer a material that can be chosen by the individual to ‘enjoy’ in private.  But pornography is extremely evident in the public sector of today’s world, and cannot be avoided even at the greatest efforts.  Such material has such a huge part in media representation that it creates an entire narrative of what women are and how they should be treated.  The very fact that this material is now allowed onto national television is a huge statement in itself, a statement that says 'look everyone, it's ok to treat women as objects now because it's on TV'.  Men everywhere are jumping on the [im]moral bandwagon and women everywhere are feeling the effects.

‘But it’s just porn, it’s not such a big deal.’

Well actually, it is.  Men like to erect (excuse the pun) a barrier between fantasy (fictional pornography) and reality.  Pornography is indeed a form of representation rather than ‘real-life sex’, but like most developed media adopts the concept of realism, and therefore naturalising such ideas so that this barrier is broken.  It might be argued that this realism proves that pornographic media simply holds a mirror to the world in its natural state, but someone is creating these representations and manipulating reality through repeated exposure to such ideals.  Such material is the propaganda of a male army, created to brainwash the world constructing a social acceptance of their perverse desires.  And it will work.  It has worked.  The media is the great dictator of social values, a very dangerous tool, and when used in this way causes severe dysfunction.  To make matters worse, due to realism creating a sense of naturalisation, this exploitation is becoming a blind ‘normality’.  People are failing to question such ideals and are worshipping ‘the media god’.

‘So how exactly does embracing pornographic media affect women on a whole?’

Marquis de Sade famously made the connection between sex and violence.  He said, ‘there’s not a woman on earth who would ever have had cause to complain of my services if I’d been sure of being able to kill her afterwards’.  The women in pornographic images are dead, both virtually and functionally.  Victimised as a piece of meat for the pleasure of the predatory male, these women have no role in the outside world.  If Sade was able to kill his women afterward they would only ever be dead, existing only as lifeless objects in the sexual realm with no experience of the outside world.  Without the escape from the sex realm to the mortal realm, women would not be able to reflect upon the abusive nature of such victimisation.  However we DO have ‘cause to complain’, as some of us are able to reflect, some of us are able to see the true damage.  This fiction, the created (fiction from ‘fingere’ = to form) enables fact to be continued into reality.  Men objectify women, using them for sex, acting violently toward them, giving them unequal disadvantage in the workplace, as well as administering continued misrepresentation of women in politics and the media. 

‘I watch porn and I’ve never hit or raped a woman’

This statement is a great example of how [some] men are getting this whole issue completely wrong.  Most think this is a battle not worth fighting.  One comment I received in discussion of this topic is that ‘watching porn stops rape’.  So not only should we accept that men are sexual predators that need to be relieved, but we as women are the ones to provide an alternative method of pleasing them to save ourselves from being raped.  We are still being raped every single day, in many ways, ways that are taken for granted.  Objectification comes in many shapes and sizes and I am sure the majority of men are unconsciously guilty of it.  You may not have raped a woman or physically abused her, but have you ever made a comment such as ‘women are bad drivers’ or criticised their capability in the work place or within education?  Have you ever judged a girl for what she is dressed like, slapping on labels such as ‘slut’, ‘slag’ or ‘whore’ upon someone you don’t even know?  Have you ever made a suggestive comment to a woman or touched a woman’s body, or expected that a woman is ‘up for it’ because of the way she is dressed?  I don’t think I have ever been on a night out without one of my girl friends or myself being ogled at or groped.  Women can’t even walk down the street without a man leaning out of a car window and hurling some lecherous comment at her.  The problems are more widespread than you thought.

‘But pornographic media can be empowering to women’

Well, if the way a woman empowers herself is through sexual objectification then there is definitely something wrong with the world.  It is far more empowering for a woman to work 9 till 5 earnestly sweeping floors than for a woman to sell herself as an object to a man.  The women that aren’t being forced into such degrading submission usually only apply for these jobs because they are pressured into thinking that this makes them beautiful.  Particularly girls who have low self-esteem and little self-worth due to lack of appreciation of personal qualities and lack of motivation toward them reaching higher goals.  This is one way a woman can gain attention from men, and what is perceived to be ‘respect’, although is actually the complete lack of.  A common argument is that ‘women get paid for doing this so there’s no issue’.  Being paid is exactly what makes them objects.  Again due to discouragement in the workplace and throughout education, women are lacking the support and encouragement they need to succeed, and therefore take the easy option of selling their bodies in pornography, strip bars and prostitution.  At this point I will point out that not only men are to blame for this societal corruption, but women too are responsible for adhering to such ‘ideals’ and degrading positions, and therefore subjecting women on the whole to such victimisation.

‘It’s too late to change things’

The tragic truth is that pornographic imaging is something that has existed for thousands of years, dating back to the Romans and the Greeks.  This is far too often used as an excuse as to why it is acceptable to continue such degrading behaviour; ‘porn isn’t wrong, it’s always been around’.  So has the slave trade.  But surely if a diseased thinking has been spreading through the generations for so long, this age of revolution is the perfect time to step outside the box of conservative ideas and change things.  Think about it (and yes I AM going to play this card), is this really the kind of world we want to bring our children into?  It is disturbingly easy for an innocent child to flick over the television channels and find some form of pornographic imaging, or walk around newsagents and supermarkets with parents to glance upon the revealing covers of ‘ladmags’ such as ‘Nuts’ or ‘Zoo’, or even the pages of tabloid newspapers.  Not only does it affect children directly, but indirectly.  As men are naturalised to embrace certain concepts of women, this is passed not only between friends but also down to their children through primary socialisation in the home.  Pornography causing sexual deviance and unequal treatment and expectations of women, often results in damaged relationships, and in some cases can cause parents to break apart and therefore leave an inheritance of disrespect toward women.  Problems are then magnified through secondary socialisation from the education system, impact from peers and again the media.

‘So what can I do?’
MEN:

Ok men, if you’ve come this far then perhaps you’ve realised that you feel a slight pang of revolutionary passion for the fight for equality.  After this stage, some men tend to hit a brick wall: ‘There would be a representation of us as impotent and as losers which we cannot risk’.  Well ‘man-up’ and risk it.  Women need you.  The revolution against racism could not have succeeded so well without the white man accepting equality and forming an alliance to end such discrimination and oppression.  Challenge the ‘man-made morality which covers up the immorality of women’s oppression, subordination and violation’.  Empower the weak and bring them to your level, respect them as equals and exhibit this attitude to the world.  Stop watching porn and find a real woman.  Love and care for her.  Tell a woman she’s smart, acknowledge her potential, be a supporting figure rather than tearing women down all the time.  And if you do respect women, do not be ashamed, but make it known throughout your day-to-day life.  Chivalry will never go out of fashion.

  

WOMEN:

            United we stand! (Which is exactly why we’ve fallen so far…)

Women have died so that we, the women of the future, have the blessing of freedom.  And look what we’ve done with that freedom.  We’ve been given a voice and a choice, so why do we still choose to be objectified and fail to use our voices?  I ask you also to ‘man-up’, to take responsibility as a singular woman and set an example for the nation of women.  Do not try to be what other people want you to be.  Learn to love yourself, and do not ever feel as though you have to prove yourself to anyone.  You do not need to take your clothes off to be beautiful.  Look for respect where respect is due, and never underestimate your potential as a human being.

Everyone:

‘In Switzerland, women took the military to court for allowing officers to use photographs of a woman as targets for shooting practice.  The reply of the Swiss authorities was that only the particular woman, the model of the photographs, could sue.  And she would be unlikely to, added a spokesman, since she had posed in the first place.’

Do not fall into the trap of treating each case singularly.  This is a widespread problem and representation has lead to the naturalisation of generalisation.  A tiny drop can cause a huge ripple, and every snowflake pleads ‘not-guilty’ in an avalanche.  So be a good snowflake.  There are always going to be worshippers of ‘the media god’, and there are always going to be people that pull the rope the other way.  But the more people that play on the right side of this tug-of-war, the more chance we have of changing things.  It’s not impossible.  Black and white people share contented lives; racism is dying a well-deserved death.  Our next world mission: gender equality.  Get on board.

(quotes from ‘The Pornography of Representation’ by Susanne Kappeler)